"Moongazing reveals the chaotic world of Uranus"

bwahahahaha. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. The New Scientist story is here. A similar story here. Heh.

Vale QAF

I love tv shows that make you feel PROUD. I think that's what people call art.

Obtuse Confusion

Yes, I know I have been slack in updating this blog, please forgive me. I've just finished reading Samuel R. Delany's Time Considered As A Helix of Semi-Precious Stones. I bought his Distant Stars anthology even tho it was 27 bux, which is a lot for me to spend on a paperback, but I decided to unclench my sphincter and buy it.

It's a pleasant enough read, but I confess I don't get it. This is, like, an an award winning story, and one of his important works apparently. I'm not particularly dense, but if someone could please explain the significance of the story or point me to a good analysis I would be most grateful.

"Escape From Fire Island"

I loved the choose-your-own- adventure books as a kid. So imagine my glee when I spotted this gay gem. Fire Island is under attack by zombie drag qweens! (So *that* explains the hair and makeup...) Also features men in speedos and gay sex.

Tingles

I had a massage today and the masseur tickled my tooshie. *giggles* I had forgotten how awesome massages are. It was 1hr and 10mins and it zoomed by of course. My butt tingled all over. Also felt nice having his manly hands on my inner thigh. I shouldn't have worn my old ck briefs though. *Makes mental note to wear sexy new ck briefs*

Medical excellence

Both my doc himself and his lovely receptionist have told me he has a mind like a seive. Should I be worried?

Getting wet

If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend going to a foam party. One of the dingier gay clubs has this sunken dance area surrounded by a railing. I call it the pig-pen. It was filled with foam and u dance around, in my case in just my jeans but in other cases in underwear. This boy who was okay looking but who had a much cuter friend kept trying to kiss me.

This was a spur of the moment action decided by one of my friends cos it was his birthday. As such we didn't have a change of clothes. I also highly recommend going through mcdonalds drive through with three other guys in just their wet underwear.

Pencil Sharpener

A very amusing treatise on one way to ditch the blues.

Not your childhood comics

Patrick Fillion must be real talented young man. And an inveterate masturbator. These aren't the comics you knew from your sweet child hood days. Nothing Mickey Mouse about these images.

"I must be punished"

I should have known better than to watch a Hugh Grant movie. "About A Boy" started off good and I was drawn in by Hugh Grant looking more lean and muscular. I was rather horrified with myself for thinking these thoughts.

Then the movie turned into a stinker and my world was restored.

Right again

While browsing around the wibbly web for, um, educational purposes, I stumbled across this porn pic and, lo and behold, this guy goes to my gym! Ain't that a coinky dink! Truth be told, I had actually wondered if any of the guys at my gym had done porn cos there are lots that are hunky and buff. It's nice to be proven right.

(yes, this pic has the head removed so that only I may indulge in, um, educational purposes with it.)

Shooting a load... of photos

I've uploaded some pics to flickr. My first ones, how exciting! A flickr virgin, if you will. Please enjoy, and tell me you like them (*waves fist at you menacingly*)

Captain Sulu is gay!!

He really really is! I'm not sure how to react...

I love naked people

Some religious people kept coming to the door at my friends place, so like each time they'd just tell them they were some other religion.

Eventually they ran out of reglions so my friend's mum answered the door stark raving naked to scare them off.

It worked.

Dispossession

Today I went to the gym but it was closed and stuff was being repossessed! :-o!

So instead, I went and got a haircut.


Moral: You can always fill time with a head job.

"Where is my cow? That is not my cow!"

Being aussie, I am thoroughly amused when international guests do dumbass stuff in australia.

Guys don't make passes at bois with fat asses

I just ate half a quiche and i dont even feel full. How can that be!!?!! *cries* *runs to weigh self*

(and grrr, blogger ate my post.)

Yes, Master.

I bought $90 of health food supplements cos my personal trainer is hot and he said so. I still don't think this is a bad thing :P

Fellatio McCocksucker

Just finished enjoying the "Hornblower" series of tv movies. They are excellent, and I'm not usually one for period dramas.

But come on, the guys name... Horatio Hornblower. I mean really. The books were only written early last century. The author dude *knew*.

It is my professional opinion as a person with an honours degree in psychology that Horatio is a big homo gaylord. I haven't read the books but Wikipedia informs me he's depicted as a very conflicted young man, full of "reservation and self doubt". He's shy, isolated from those around him, self-conscious and lonely. Helloooooooo. *Takes out fresh pack of cigarrettes* Young fag anyone?

Plus he's really smart and good with his men *giggles*. His wives (plural) never understand him. He doesn't like capital punishment but is a fan of spankings to discipline naughty men. Oh, look at this "bundle of sticks".

His best buddy in most of the movies is Archie Kennedy, played by the delectably hot and nelly Jamie Bamber who I've blogged about previously. Hornblower tenderly nurses a sick Archie back to health in a prison cell. Like, thats two gay fantasies in one.

I rest my case.

"Emu taking a vicious dump"

I am sorry I didnt think of this first... I agree with the author, it rather does make you reconsider the value of humanity *snicker*

Un-wobbly bottom

My doctor tells me my cholesterol is 1.5. Apparently like 3.6 is average for heart disease risk or something. As long as you're below 5 you're ok i think.

I think this means I can snort juicey fatty bacon and not have a heart attack. Yay me!

Personal Trainer

I had a personal training session on Wednesday and it was shcarewy! Well, just a widdle.

The trainer was really hot of course, but that's what made it intimidating. I'm all confused about my gym program now. But he was really nice tho.

He made this joke when we were talking about doing ab crunches and like he said it's silly bending at the hips cos that just works the hip flexors. Cos like, hip flexors are just two inches of muscle near the hips. "We don't care about anything thats just two inches near the waist." *giggles* I like going to a gay gym.

Last.fm

Omg, this is so fab. Last.fm can track what you've been listening to and offers similar artists and songs.

It even streams music to you in a customised cd quality radio station.

*cough* Soz, not that i'm one for advertising other sites lol.

Wooooozy

I had a blood test today and I felt woozy afterwards so the nurse had me lie down.

Moral: The best way to take a prick is on your back.

Eating cock

My friend's brother once ate chicken at KFC and got really sick. So he had to poop in a bag. Then they gave him a few thousand dollars.

Moral: You can eat cock for cash.

OMG some mom's are sooooo spastic

I was in Rebel Sport yesterday and there was this mum with her son. He was like 13 years old or something. And omg, the mum called over a sales guy to ask for help picking a groin cup (cricket box) for the boy! She was like talking about sizes and things! Like Oh. My. God. Like geez, talking about the poor boys testicles and package in public. *Shakes head*

Hot... steamy.... giggle action!

What do you call a lezbien with fat fingers?



Well hung.
Bwahahahahaha.

Crunchalies

Like dude, this guy can kick himself in the nutz!!

That's talent :D

Please spanx me

I know I'm tewwibly nordi for not posting in such a long time! I must be punished *blushes* I suggest leather restraints, metal handcuffs can get uncomfo...*cough* never mind.

Because I am busy futzing over buying a new compuda, here is a bit of fiction I wrote way back in my high school days. It's supposed to be a 'descriptive piece'. It still amuses me and maybe one day I'll flesh it out into a proper story.

Rememeber, it was high school. Be kind.

The City

The City was the underground wasteland that had assembled after The War. The War: in all history, there was only one war that had any meaning now. It was The War that had metamorphosed three billion years of evolution into vapour; The War that had burnt life into choking clouds of ash that hovered above the fractured surface of what had been Earth. All other wars were inconsequential.

Before The War, The City was built as an underground refuge for the squandering bourgeoisie that now hung as a stifling dark cloud Outside. After the war, The City drew the surviving rabble as maggots to carrion. Twelve levels of carefully architectured human construction suddenly thrust outwards in a desperate attempt to contain the colony of the sufferers. The Maggots had tunnelled haphazardly through the earth like grubs desperately gnawing through flesh to keep themselves alive. It was a growth that moved like a cancer yet ironically held the life that held humanity back from extinction. In a brief time, The City had exploded into a dark warren; a bewildering hive of creaking metal where survivors didn't live--they lurked.

Survivors nestled themselves among shadows in the long, wide corridors that were The City. They sat huddled, clutching blankets or themselves in desperate attempts to keep out the fear. The dark was barely pushed back by the wearily flickering, sparsely placed electric lanterns. Few people moved in the dark; the only reason for it was food. Occasional rustles of movement were heard by the grotesquely deformed ears of survivors; but more often the alert ears heard the frightening shrieks of the insane reverberating along the metal walls. Yet, no matter what came from outside, Survivors forever heard the sounds in their own heads. There were quiet whispering voices that spurred them into deviancy--prompted them to thrust a knife between the shoulder blades of the already dead, or to gnaw at their own hands. And even the lucky who had no voices perenially heard their own tense heart-beat.

While survivors could still hear sound, they no longer smelt the foul sour odour of themselves; nor did they feel the acrid smoke that forever stung their noses. The smoke billowed from fires lit by those with enough wits to know they had to keep warm. Around the flaming bundles of clothes, survivors rocked gently back and forth. The more sane hummed to themselves ancient songs or rhymes. None could remember when they had learnt the songs. References to time had no meaning. Time was inconsequential. They had eternity to sit and hum.

This was The City.

This is *art* baby

This is the most bewdiful compass ever. I also want the Meteorit pendant, made from a slice of actual meteorite.

*weeps at the beauty*

The Patriot Act

Masturbation isn't just good for you, it's good for the world.

Do it for your country!

Sometimes the world gives u a present

I woke up and turned on the tv this morning and there were hunks in speedos! :D

Bambie

I'm in love with Jamie Bamber's arms.

And omg, listen to his behind the scenes clips, he sounds so nelly! Ruff!

Hairus Maximus

I had a haircut today.

Also, did u know its really hard to wax ur own butt hair?

Snoooper chair

I let my bear have a ride in my astronaut chair. Look at how shiny my new chair is :)

Published author!

Yes, yes! Dats right! Me, moi, is going to be a bona fide published author. *bows*

I won an international writing competition run by the European Space Agency. You can read my short story here. It was on the theme of 'space elevators'. No, no, its not as silly as it sounds. (It's actually an energy efficient way of getting into space. I suppose it would sound less silly if it had a dumb name like
"Hyper Efficient Orbital Transfer System")

My story is gunna be published in a book later this year *beams*.

Homo erectus

A gay guy walks into a shop and asks "Do you sell extra large condoms?"

Sales man goes "Yes, would you like to buy some?"

Gay guy goes, "Um no... but can I wait here until somebody does?"

Finally! Australia does something stylish!

This is a way fabooo-er way to rent dvds! Via The Cool Hunter.

Suuuuuuper chair!

Omg omg omg! It's nearly here! *bounces and faffs hands around* Only a week and a half to go. It's been 4 months in the making. Semi-custom made to include all the fancy options. Now sitting in some darned shipping container slowly drifting across the waves from America to me.

My snooooooooooooooooper chair!! It's my super duper fancy ergonomic chair. Thats going to gently support and cushion my toosh. Plus be good for my back and neck and posture and all that jazz. But think of my tooosh!!! mmmm soft cushiony goodness.

THINK OF MY TOOOSH!!!!

Sit. Stay. Learn. *pats*

I was inspired by this other very amusing blogger to share some interesting tidbits about sleep with you.

Did you know that once you reach adulthood your slow decrease in nighttime sleep is because your brain is slowly rotting. So, it's not that you need less sleep as you get older. You will feel more tired/sleepy during the day as you get older, meaning u still need as much, you're just not getting it. Your brain is slowly losing the ability *to* sleep.

In fact, there is debate among sleep researchers whether really old people still experience one of the key phases of sleep (Stage 4 delta wave deep sleep for u technical people).

Yup, its true. I have an honors degree so nerrrr. Your brain is shrinking and tangled messy knots are forming.

So to summarise: older = brain rotting = less sleep.

I suspect this is also why older people don't like rock music and stop thinking during tv. Well, a part of it :P

Australians say 'arse' because we are bogans

I am probably over-linking to random quizes but I'm a junkie. *ssshivers* Sooo coold, soo coold.

This quiz is, um, unique:

You are PROLIXIN DECANOATE! You are the slayer of
the non compliants! Though your performance is
adequate, there are some people who would
prefer to take it in the ass more often than
every two weeks.

Which antipsychotic drug are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Don't read this sentence

I fawkin told you! *punches u in the balls* :P

Insomnia

If anyone has a recipe for helping me get to sleep, I would appreciate hearing it.

I haven't been sleeping right past couple of nights so I've taken to browsing pictures of hot guys in speedos on Webshots.

*Sings YMCA song*

Don't this make me look macho? *giggles like widdle skool girl*

Psychic freakout

I turned on the tv this afternoon and right away this lady said "Homo erectus."

How did she know??!

I had a tea party... *cranky pants*

This boy asked me over (for u know, fun stuff shhhhhhh). And he was cute too! Sexy rexi! And then... we had tea! Just tea. *squeals* I hate that!

I went to all the trouble of shooowering even and dressing up cute and I even had to drive through a spooooooky industrial area at night. *squeals again*

Bedroom vibrations

Omigosh! I got linked! *giggles* and it tickled! hehe

So I thought I should update. I felt both extremely gay and extra macho today. I put up my own shelves using *power tools*. But the shelves were from Ikea. *Puts on speedos aaaand wifebeater singlet*

In the valley of...

Hmmm, I think my evil ratio is a little low.

I'm an Angel!

I *knew* it.



You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Leporid dreams

Last night I had a terrible dream about a giant evil bunny rabbit.

No, really.

Plumber followup

Ewww. No. Icky old qween. Don't you hate it when they stand too close? *runs and hides under doona*

Plumbing Goodness

I'm getting a new toilet! Woo woo! I'm getting excited over a toilet, but I'm a qween and I like nice things in my home. It's the gay interior decoration gene.

Who knew getting a plumber was such hard work! Eeek! Fortunately I settled on the one in the gay directory. *Pats the Gay Mafia gently on the head*

I'm hoping he's totally hot and buff. And does plumbing in exchange for sex. [Insert joke about plumbing my depths here]