For what its worth here's evidence of my suffering for my body.
Also, while I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room bleeding from the head, another patient in the room decided to hit on my trainer. The bitch. He was all "oooooh, aren't you lucky to have someone so hot looking after you." And, "Why don't I accidentally fall down here so he can look after me." *Cue his pretend swoon.* The bitch.
If anyone is getting sex from my trainer cos of my injury, its gonna be ME.