Hoobyjuice

Cookies = Love

2011-03-30T22:25:00.002+11:00

How many cookies does it take to fill up a heart?

Liz Lemon is the Everyman

2011-03-29T13:45:00.004+11:00

Like Liz Lemon, I, too, have no plan-B.

Chocolate and orange sucks donkey dong!

2011-03-28T13:01:00.003+11:00

There you are with a box of chocolates full of awesome and fuck yeah! You start eatin those fine mofo's and get a sweet ass chocolate hit on yo' taste buds. Nigga, you know what I'm talk bout!

Then BLAM! Chocolate and orange! It sucks like donkey dong! Screw you un-awesome chocolate maker!

Warm cosy head

2011-03-27T11:19:00.002+11:00

I wonder if Jewish yamakas are good to keep your head warm, you know, like a beanie.

Shervo's Monster

2011-03-26T18:44:00.002+11:00

I wonder if anyone has actually seen Matt Shirvington's cock and balls in real life... Or if it's like the Loch Ness Monster: just one of those mythical things hinted at by shadows in blurry pictures.

Screw you Disney!

2011-03-25T14:11:00.005+11:00

I just watched the start of Disney's Tangled.

Let met get this straight:

An elderly impoverished woman manages to protect an incredibly rare and beautiful flower for hundreds of years, and sustainably harvests its gifts with something as sweet as singing.

But then the spoiled king and queen, who are luxuriating in their gold and jewels while their subjects are living in abject poverty (if history is any guide), suddenly need the flower because the queen may be dying in childbirth (a situation no doubt incredibly common among the citizens she's oppressed).

So of course the rich king and queen have the rare flower torn from the earth and destroyed to get what they need. And in doing so, they are essentially sentence the old woman to death.

And now we are supposed to think the poor woman is baddie because the rich people have forced her to try and regain the discovery that was already hers, because she doesn't want to die? May I remind you that being old and/or poor, and not wanting to die, are not crimes!

(I stopped watching soon after that so we'll ignore the whole "imprisoning a girl in an isolated tower" thing. Anyway, they forced her into it!)

I knew Disney movies sent bad messages, but sheeesh! It's not the 1950s Disney! There's a reason you guys come distant second to Pixar these days...

Word of the Day #3

2007-07-21T22:50:00.001+10:00

Cockasaurus! hahahaha

Word of the Day #2

2007-07-18T22:22:00.001+10:00

Bottom-huggler! :D

Word of the Day #1

2007-07-18T11:38:00.001+10:00

Buy-sexual

hahahahahaha

Hmmm

2007-06-29T21:18:00.000+10:00

This is from a health food type shop. Look at the category. *stares shocked* One wonders why one would need a wrist strap...

6 Billion Others

2007-06-16T11:17:00.001+10:00

This is the most human thing I have ever seen on the internet in a while. Really reminds you there really are 6 Billion Others besides Paris Hilton.

hobbes wisdom

2007-02-20T09:24:00.000+11:00

really, why do i even bother

2007-02-18T23:02:00.000+11:00

at work we sell vases shaped like giant butt plugs! bwahahaha

also we sell monkey balls! hehe.

not just any monkey balls.

*tambuzi* monkey balls.

this is how you know you're getting quality monkey balls bwahahahaha

No Clitoris Left Behind

2006-09-29T11:56:00.000+10:00

Those crazy Raelians and their hair-brained get rich quick schemes *flicks wrist*. Clitoraid.

This Is Why God Invented Drugs

2006-09-12T22:23:00.000+10:00

This saddens me...

Mr Methane

2006-09-10T23:04:00.000+10:00

I had no idea... The things people get up to in this world!

Omg! Pluto is gone!

2006-08-25T16:47:00.000+10:00

It musta been swallowed by Uranus.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

I can't resist.

*Cough* Well at least we officially only have 8 planets now. We need new rhymes for kids.

The Aiports' War On Moisture

2006-08-24T10:22:00.000+10:00

This is a real website screenshot. Ryanair is a popular uber-cheap airline in the UK and Europe.

Cleaning Hunk Has Manly Friends!

2006-08-22T16:02:00.000+10:00

The original cleaning hunk has been joined by two of his friends. And now you can even pick what costume the new dudes where... i like the construction worker :D

Words of the day

2006-08-13T14:43:00.000+10:00

New words I just learnt:
emosexual
emorotic

HAHAHAHA

The Rocket Man

2006-08-12T00:05:00.000+10:00

Saw Jason Mraz live in concert on Monday.

There was one guy who was throwing himself at Jason. He shouted out "I'm yours!" and "Let me bear your children!" One chick also threw her panties at him. She was obviously a slut.

Needless to say, Jason Mraz was freakin' incredible! It was just about worth standing on my feet for four hours, including an hour in line and another hour with a shitful support act. Plus someone smelt like urinal cakes...

His voice was just so pure and soaring. It was hard to believe it wasn't a prerecorded track that took a year of studio tweaking. Treat yourself and hear him live.

"Don't Tell Mum I Work On the Rigs, She Thinks I'm A Piano Player In A Whorehouse"

2006-08-08T23:01:00.000+10:00

This is one of the funniest books I've read in a while, and all the more so because its true. Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. It's a biography of a guy with a very colourful life. It goes from rescuing his mate after being punched in the nuts by a legless russian soldier amputee, to masturbating monkeys, to explosive diarrhea. It's fascinating to know real people still have real adventures.

Manhunt

2006-08-06T03:20:00.000+10:00

It's 3:16am. Went to a straight club tonight....

The men in the male model competition had totally hot bods. The guy brave enough to wear a speedo won, of course. Those men needed to give me a cuddle.

On the down side, who knew you could fit so many slappers in one place? I thought there was a law or something against that. In case they imploded, like a black hole, in a shower of vagina-revealing mini-skirts and fishnet stockings. When the density of mole-ness gets too great the laws of physics collapse and space and time fall in on themselves, in shock over the affront to good taste.

Pickle Tickle

2006-07-05T23:14:00.000+10:00

This is so dumb. I guess American TV is into screwing with people.

(pretend that it's not fake, which it is, in my edumakated opinion.)

Turkey Slap

2006-07-03T20:10:00.000+10:00

I just learnt what a turkey slap is. Apparently its where a dude slaps you in the head with his man- thing. Frankly I didn't think that made any sense. I thought it more apt if a turkey slap meant a whack with a guys ballbag. You know, because the nutsac hangs like the floppy bit an a turkey. Then the gay radio station mentioned going 'gobble, gobble'... then the term made sense.

Should I be concerned?

2006-07-01T10:51:00.000+10:00

I started planning a boat party with a friend and all of sudden it became planning for a boat party orgy :-S. What the heck happened?!

oh deary...

2006-05-31T11:14:00.000+10:00

Here's a tip: don't EVER let attraction to a cute friend overcome your good sense :(

Gym Camp

2006-05-30T14:37:00.000+10:00

I was in my gay gym on the cross-trainer (which i call the camperciser cos it's so camp with your hands and feet wiggling like that) and watching Antiques Roadshow on the tv, and it occured to me how gay it all was. I love it! :D

My first radio appearance

2006-05-26T22:41:00.000+10:00

I got to speak on the gay radio station last week and the lesbian host said i was the cuuuuutest support person at the station. Lesbians seem to find me pritty. She's the 3rd one to say so. Maybe I give off lesbian pheremones. *sniffs* Do I smell like flannel?

Living stones (no, not the kind on a man)

2006-05-05T11:45:00.000+10:00

These livingstones are cool but I suspect I'm swayed by the hot man in a towel.

Calves and Rear Ends

2006-04-29T10:19:00.000+10:00

I discovered strong calves are really good for standing on tippy toes so I can watch the stripper cop on the stage at the bar. Being short is a curse but all those calf raises really paid off. The stripper was a sexy hunk but he didnt show it all *dissapointed face*. This was a special event as one of the owners, a chick, was having a hens/bachlorette night.

Also, does seeing a hot stripper make up for dinging a BMW? I put a minor dent in an old BMW while parallel parking. The guy was lovely about it. Good thing we're all qweens :D

"Scientists discover blue ring around Uranus"

2006-04-22T17:47:00.000+10:00

BWAHAHAHAHA.

Accidental Date With A Semi Porn Star

2006-04-20T13:31:00.000+10:00

Yeah, I went on date with this guy who has done some amateur porn movies, like 3 so far and has 2 more to go on his contract. And like, I din realise it was supposed to be a date date. I thought we could just be friends. I think he wants to pork me. Or, more accurately, wants to be porked by me. He wants to go to the gym with me so he can perv on me and spot me and stuff. The slut :P

Lunacy has its benefits i suppose

2006-03-31T10:07:00.000+11:00

"my penchant for surreptitiously reaching into my pants to cup my balls before picking up and replacing items of produce at the supermarket."

Photographic evidence

2006-03-12T09:50:00.001+11:00

For what its worth here's evidence of my suffering for my body.

Also, while I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room bleeding from the head, another patient in the room decided to hit on my trainer. The bitch. He was all "oooooh, aren't you lucky to have someone so hot looking after you." And, "Why don't I accidentally fall down here so he can look after me." *Cue his pretend swoon.* The bitch.

If anyone is getting sex from my trainer cos of my injury, its gonna be ME.

I got bashed in the head with a barbell at the gym!

2006-03-10T14:49:00.000+11:00

It was a tewwible tewwible accident! THREE STITCHES! Tho I'm telling everyone it was twenty stitches :P I was bleeding down my face and I threw up all over the gyms nice new carpet. The staff were lovely about it :D Plus I got to hold the hot trainers hand :D

Shiney Disco Balls

2006-03-05T17:48:00.000+11:00

I'm going gay bowling tonight. I went a previous night but it got cancelled cos of Gay Pride March cos no one cept me turned up lol. Though I did get to meet Jamie, the blonde gay housemate from 2001 Big Brother. He's lovely in person and way skinner than he looks on tv.

Still... *thinks of gay qweens in bowling shoes and tossing bowling balls.* *shudder*

The wizard of...

2006-02-18T10:12:00.000+11:00

Australia's lastest gold medal winner at the Winter Olympics is actually an American dot-com millionaire who joined the Aussie team because we don't make him train as much as the Americans. In otherwords, a fake Aussie. I'm noticing a pattern here in our Winter Olympic wins...

Still, Dale Begg-Smith sure is cute! And he's awfully driven for someone so young. And he has the tiniest lisp on the end of his sentences. I smell some gay... (yay!)

Pulling a Bradbury

2006-02-17T03:42:00.000+11:00

Steven Bradbury is an Australian champion, after a fashion. He won a Winter Olympics 2002 Gold medal only because everyone else fell down. I've heard this called very Australian, and I agree. Though I'm not sure how to feel about that...

Damn doctors

2006-02-15T17:29:00.000+11:00

WTF is it with doctors?! My doc said i could let him know if i had trouble pay his extra fee. So i mention it, and he gets mad at me! sheeeeesh! *grumps*

2006-01-31T14:47:00.000+11:00

There was a nude porn photo shoot at my gym. Just the one guy in nekidness. Sadly he wasnt that cute or had that good a package.

Also, I can do 23 dips now :D

I think this is why technology was invented... um maybe not.

2006-01-12T23:39:00.000+11:00

I just bought a super cool graphics tablet and I am writing this with a pen and the magical thing is turning it into text. Look at the other sophisticated things l can do with this:

omg omg omg faffs hands

2006-01-11T15:15:00.000+11:00

It's sooooo exciting. I've just been invited to be on a panel at Conflux, a big science fiction convention in Australia. Sir Arthur C Clarke and Ray Bradbury will be there! They dont get any bigger than that in the sci fi world. And I, as the winner of the European Space Agency's Clarke-Bradbury Short Story Competition have been invited along. Aint that fab! *points at me* famous author ;)

Canuck awucka! - LINK FIXED!!

2006-01-03T09:23:00.000+11:00

This is hilarious! A Canadian report about American plans to invade the Canucks.

"I'm sure Winnipeggers will stand up tall in defense of our country," Mayor Katz said later. "We have many, many weapons."

What kind of weapons?

"We have peashooters, slingshots and snowballs," he said, laughing.

"Moongazing reveals the chaotic world of Uranus"

2005-12-23T23:20:00.000+11:00

bwahahahaha. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. The New Scientist story is here. A similar story here. Heh.

Vale QAF

2005-12-19T23:59:00.000+11:00

I love tv shows that make you feel PROUD. I think that's what people call art.

Obtuse Confusion

2005-12-19T00:00:00.000+11:00

Yes, I know I have been slack in updating this blog, please forgive me. I've just finished reading Samuel R. Delany's Time Considered As A Helix of Semi-Precious Stones. I bought his Distant Stars anthology even tho it was 27 bux, which is a lot for me to spend on a paperback, but I decided to unclench my sphincter and buy it.

It's a pleasant enough read, but I confess I don't get it. This is, like, an an award winning story, and one of his important works apparently. I'm not particularly dense, but if someone could please explain the significance of the story or point me to a good analysis I would be most grateful.

"Escape From Fire Island"

2005-11-30T15:25:00.000+11:00

I loved the choose-your-own- adventure books as a kid. So imagine my glee when I spotted this gay gem. Fire Island is under attack by zombie drag qweens! (So *that* explains the hair and makeup...) Also features men in speedos and gay sex.

Tingles

2005-11-29T20:11:00.000+11:00

I had a massage today and the masseur tickled my tooshie. *giggles* I had forgotten how awesome massages are. It was 1hr and 10mins and it zoomed by of course. My butt tingled all over. Also felt nice having his manly hands on my inner thigh. I shouldn't have worn my old ck briefs though. *Makes mental note to wear sexy new ck briefs*

Medical excellence

2005-11-26T10:53:00.000+11:00

Both my doc himself and his lovely receptionist have told me he has a mind like a seive. Should I be worried?

Getting wet

2005-11-18T08:49:00.000+11:00

If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend going to a foam party. One of the dingier gay clubs has this sunken dance area surrounded by a railing. I call it the pig-pen. It was filled with foam and u dance around, in my case in just my jeans but in other cases in underwear. This boy who was okay looking but who had a much cuter friend kept trying to kiss me.

This was a spur of the moment action decided by one of my friends cos it was his birthday. As such we didn't have a change of clothes. I also highly recommend going through mcdonalds drive through with three other guys in just their wet underwear.

Pencil Sharpener

2005-11-14T14:37:00.000+11:00

A very amusing treatise on one way to ditch the blues.

Not your childhood comics

2005-11-13T10:06:00.000+11:00

Patrick Fillion must be real talented young man. And an inveterate masturbator. These aren't the comics you knew from your sweet child hood days. Nothing Mickey Mouse about these images.

"I must be punished"

2005-11-05T20:38:00.000+11:00

I should have known better than to watch a Hugh Grant movie. "About A Boy" started off good and I was drawn in by Hugh Grant looking more lean and muscular. I was rather horrified with myself for thinking these thoughts.

Then the movie turned into a stinker and my world was restored.

Right again

2005-11-02T23:25:00.000+11:00

While browsing around the wibbly web for, um, educational purposes, I stumbled across this porn pic and, lo and behold, this guy goes to my gym! Ain't that a coinky dink! Truth be told, I had actually wondered if any of the guys at my gym had done porn cos there are lots that are hunky and buff. It's nice to be proven right.

(yes, this pic has the head removed so that only I may indulge in, um, educational purposes with it.)

Shooting a load... of photos

2005-10-30T23:59:00.001+11:00

I've uploaded some pics to flickr. My first ones, how exciting! A flickr virgin, if you will. Please enjoy, and tell me you like them (*waves fist at you menacingly*)

Captain Sulu is gay!!

2005-10-29T15:49:00.000+10:00

He really really is! I'm not sure how to react...

I love naked people

2005-10-28T18:45:00.000+10:00

Some religious people kept coming to the door at my friends place, so like each time they'd just tell them they were some other religion.

Eventually they ran out of reglions so my friend's mum answered the door stark raving naked to scare them off.

It worked.

Dispossession

2005-10-27T18:11:00.000+10:00

Today I went to the gym but it was closed and stuff was being repossessed! :-o!

So instead, I went and got a haircut.

Moral: You can always fill time with a head job.

"Where is my cow? That is not my cow!"

2005-10-26T17:00:00.000+10:00

Being aussie, I am thoroughly amused when international guests do dumbass stuff in australia.

Guys don't make passes at bois with fat asses

2005-10-24T13:31:00.000+10:00

I just ate half a quiche and i dont even feel full. How can that be!!?!! *cries* *runs to weigh self*

(and grrr, blogger ate my post.)

Yes, Master.

2005-10-21T09:47:00.000+10:00

I bought $90 of health food supplements cos my personal trainer is hot and he said so. I still don't think this is a bad thing :P

Fellatio McCocksucker

2005-10-19T09:22:00.000+10:00

Just finished enjoying the "Hornblower" series of tv movies. They are excellent, and I'm not usually one for period dramas.

But come on, the guys name... Horatio Hornblower. I mean really. The books were only written early last century. The author dude *knew*.

It is my professional opinion as a person with an honours degree in psychology that Horatio is a big homo gaylord. I haven't read the books but Wikipedia informs me he's depicted as a very conflicted young man, full of "reservation and self doubt". He's shy, isolated from those around him, self-conscious and lonely. Helloooooooo. *Takes out fresh pack of cigarrettes* Young fag anyone?

Plus he's really smart and good with his men *giggles*. His wives (plural) never understand him. He doesn't like capital punishment but is a fan of spankings to discipline naughty men. Oh, look at this "bundle of sticks".

His best buddy in most of the movies is Archie Kennedy, played by the delectably hot and nelly Jamie Bamber who I've blogged about previously. Hornblower tenderly nurses a sick Archie back to health in a prison cell. Like, thats two gay fantasies in one.

I rest my case.

"Emu taking a vicious dump"

2005-10-18T20:25:00.000+10:00

I am sorry I didnt think of this first... I agree with the author, it rather does make you reconsider the value of humanity *snicker*

Un-wobbly bottom

2005-10-16T20:31:00.000+10:00

My doctor tells me my cholesterol is 1.5. Apparently like 3.6 is average for heart disease risk or something. As long as you're below 5 you're ok i think.

I think this means I can snort juicey fatty bacon and not have a heart attack. Yay me!

Personal Trainer

2005-10-14T10:26:00.000+10:00

I had a personal training session on Wednesday and it was shcarewy! Well, just a widdle.

The trainer was really hot of course, but that's what made it intimidating. I'm all confused about my gym program now. But he was really nice tho.

He made this joke when we were talking about doing ab crunches and like he said it's silly bending at the hips cos that just works the hip flexors. Cos like, hip flexors are just two inches of muscle near the hips. "We don't care about anything thats just two inches near the waist." *giggles* I like going to a gay gym.

Last.fm

2005-10-11T10:04:00.000+10:00

Omg, this is so fab. Last.fm can track what you've been listening to and offers similar artists and songs.

It even streams music to you in a customised cd quality radio station.

*cough* Soz, not that i'm one for advertising other sites lol.

Wooooozy

2005-10-10T10:52:00.000+10:00

I had a blood test today and I felt woozy afterwards so the nurse had me lie down.

Moral: The best way to take a prick is on your back.

Eating cock

2005-10-09T13:09:00.000+10:00

My friend's brother once ate chicken at KFC and got really sick. So he had to poop in a bag. Then they gave him a few thousand dollars.

Moral: You can eat cock for cash.

OMG some mom's are sooooo spastic

2005-10-07T12:39:00.000+10:00

I was in Rebel Sport yesterday and there was this mum with her son. He was like 13 years old or something. And omg, the mum called over a sales guy to ask for help picking a groin cup (cricket box) for the boy! She was like talking about sizes and things! Like Oh. My. God. Like geez, talking about the poor boys testicles and package in public. *Shakes head*

Hot... steamy.... giggle action!

2005-10-05T08:35:00.000+10:00

What do you call a lezbien with fat fingers?

Well hung.
Bwahahahahaha.

Crunchalies

2005-10-04T09:40:00.000+10:00

Like dude, this guy can kick himself in the nutz!!

That's talent :D

Please spanx me

2005-10-03T14:19:00.000+10:00

I know I'm tewwibly nordi for not posting in such a long time! I must be punished *blushes* I suggest leather restraints, metal handcuffs can get uncomfo...*cough* never mind.

Because I am busy futzing over buying a new compuda, here is a bit of fiction I wrote way back in my high school days. It's supposed to be a 'descriptive piece'. It still amuses me and maybe one day I'll flesh it out into a proper story.

Rememeber, it was high school. Be kind.

The City

The City was the underground wasteland that had assembled after The War. The War: in all history, there was only one war that had any meaning now. It was The War that had metamorphosed three billion years of evolution into vapour; The War that had burnt life into choking clouds of ash that hovered above the fractured surface of what had been Earth. All other wars were inconsequential.

Before The War, The City was built as an underground refuge for the squandering bourgeoisie that now hung as a stifling dark cloud Outside. After the war, The City drew the surviving rabble as maggots to carrion. Twelve levels of carefully architectured human construction suddenly thrust outwards in a desperate attempt to contain the colony of the sufferers. The Maggots had tunnelled haphazardly through the earth like grubs desperately gnawing through flesh to keep themselves alive. It was a growth that moved like a cancer yet ironically held the life that held humanity back from extinction. In a brief time, The City had exploded into a dark warren; a bewildering hive of creaking metal where survivors didn't live--they lurked.

Survivors nestled themselves among shadows in the long, wide corridors that were The City. They sat huddled, clutching blankets or themselves in desperate attempts to keep out the fear. The dark was barely pushed back by the wearily flickering, sparsely placed electric lanterns. Few people moved in the dark; the only reason for it was food. Occasional rustles of movement were heard by the grotesquely deformed ears of survivors; but more often the alert ears heard the frightening shrieks of the insane reverberating along the metal walls. Yet, no matter what came from outside, Survivors forever heard the sounds in their own heads. There were quiet whispering voices that spurred them into deviancy--prompted them to thrust a knife between the shoulder blades of the already dead, or to gnaw at their own hands. And even the lucky who had no voices perenially heard their own tense heart-beat.

While survivors could still hear sound, they no longer smelt the foul sour odour of themselves; nor did they feel the acrid smoke that forever stung their noses. The smoke billowed from fires lit by those with enough wits to know they had to keep warm. Around the flaming bundles of clothes, survivors rocked gently back and forth. The more sane hummed to themselves ancient songs or rhymes. None could remember when they had learnt the songs. References to time had no meaning. Time was inconsequential. They had eternity to sit and hum.

This was The City.

This is art baby

2005-09-01T18:50:00.000+10:00

This is the most bewdiful compass ever. I also want the Meteorit pendant, made from a slice of actual meteorite.

*weeps at the beauty*

The Patriot Act

2005-08-25T23:41:00.000+10:00

Masturbation isn't just good for you, it's good for the world.

Do it for your country!

Sometimes the world gives u a present

2005-08-22T11:05:00.000+10:00

I woke up and turned on the tv this morning and there were hunks in speedos! :D

Bambie

2005-08-21T23:09:00.000+10:00

I'm in love with Jamie Bamber's arms.

And omg, listen to his behind the scenes clips, he sounds so nelly! Ruff!

Hairus Maximus

2005-08-10T19:16:00.000+10:00

I had a haircut today.

Also, did u know its really hard to wax ur own butt hair?

Snoooper chair

2005-07-30T18:25:00.000+10:00

I let my bear have a ride in my astronaut chair. Look at how shiny my new chair is :)

Published author!

2005-07-28T10:39:00.000+10:00

Yes, yes! Dats right! Me, moi, is going to be a bona fide published author. *bows*

I won an international writing competition run by the European Space Agency. You can read my short story here. It was on the theme of 'space elevators'. No, no, its not as silly as it sounds. (It's actually an energy efficient way of getting into space. I suppose it would sound less silly if it had a dumb name like
"Hyper Efficient Orbital Transfer System")

My story is gunna be published in a book later this year *beams*.

Homo erectus

2005-07-28T10:28:00.000+10:00

A gay guy walks into a shop and asks "Do you sell extra large condoms?"

Sales man goes "Yes, would you like to buy some?"

Gay guy goes, "Um no... but can I wait here until somebody does?"

Finally! Australia does something stylish!

2005-07-01T21:07:00.000+10:00

This is a way fabooo-er way to rent dvds! Via The Cool Hunter.

Suuuuuuper chair!

2005-06-21T10:21:00.000+10:00

Omg omg omg! It's nearly here! *bounces and faffs hands around* Only a week and a half to go. It's been 4 months in the making. Semi-custom made to include all the fancy options. Now sitting in some darned shipping container slowly drifting across the waves from America to me.

My snooooooooooooooooper chair!! It's my super duper fancy ergonomic chair. Thats going to gently support and cushion my toosh. Plus be good for my back and neck and posture and all that jazz. But think of my tooosh!!! mmmm soft cushiony goodness.

THINK OF MY TOOOSH!!!!

Sit. Stay. Learn. pats

2005-06-19T00:40:00.000+10:00

I was inspired by this other very amusing blogger to share some interesting tidbits about sleep with you.

Did you know that once you reach adulthood your slow decrease in nighttime sleep is because your brain is slowly rotting. So, it's not that you need less sleep as you get older. You will feel more tired/sleepy during the day as you get older, meaning u still need as much, you're just not getting it. Your brain is slowly losing the ability *to* sleep.

In fact, there is debate among sleep researchers whether really old people still experience one of the key phases of sleep (Stage 4 delta wave deep sleep for u technical people).

Yup, its true. I have an honors degree so nerrrr. Your brain is shrinking and tangled messy knots are forming.

So to summarise: older = brain rotting = less sleep.

I suspect this is also why older people don't like rock music and stop thinking during tv. Well, a part of it :P

Australians say 'arse' because we are bogans

2005-06-02T13:29:00.000+10:00

I am probably over-linking to random quizes but I'm a junkie. *ssshivers* Sooo coold, soo coold.

This quiz is, um, unique:

You are PROLIXIN DECANOATE! You are the slayer of
the non compliants! Though your performance is
adequate, there are some people who would
prefer to take it in the ass more often than
every two weeks.

Which antipsychotic drug are you?
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Don't read this sentence

2005-06-01T19:42:00.000+10:00

I fawkin told you! *punches u in the balls* :P

Insomnia

2005-05-29T15:50:00.000+10:00

If anyone has a recipe for helping me get to sleep, I would appreciate hearing it.

I haven't been sleeping right past couple of nights so I've taken to browsing pictures of hot guys in speedos on Webshots.

Sings YMCA song

2005-05-27T09:41:00.000+10:00

Don't this make me look macho? *giggles like widdle skool girl*

Psychic freakout

2005-05-13T14:24:00.000+10:00

I turned on the tv this afternoon and right away this lady said "Homo erectus."

How did she know??!

I had a tea party... cranky pants

2005-05-05T17:59:00.000+10:00

This boy asked me over (for u know, fun stuff shhhhhhh). And he was cute too! Sexy rexi! And then... we had tea! Just tea. *squeals* I hate that!

I went to all the trouble of shooowering even and dressing up cute and I even had to drive through a spooooooky industrial area at night. *squeals again*

Bedroom vibrations

2005-04-25T22:13:00.000+10:00

Omigosh! I got linked! *giggles* and it tickled! hehe

So I thought I should update. I felt both extremely gay and extra macho today. I put up my own shelves using *power tools*. But the shelves were from Ikea. *Puts on speedos aaaand wifebeater singlet*

In the valley of...

2005-04-09T21:19:00.000+10:00

Hmmm, I think my evil ratio is a little low.

I'm an Angel!

2005-04-09T21:08:00.000+10:00

I *knew* it.

You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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Leporid dreams

2005-03-14T13:12:00.000+11:00

Last night I had a terrible dream about a giant evil bunny rabbit.

No, really.

Plumber followup

2005-03-10T15:58:00.000+11:00

Ewww. No. Icky old qween. Don't you hate it when they stand too close? *runs and hides under doona*

Plumbing Goodness

2005-03-08T08:58:00.000+11:00

I'm getting a new toilet! Woo woo! I'm getting excited over a toilet, but I'm a qween and I like nice things in my home. It's the gay interior decoration gene.

Who knew getting a plumber was such hard work! Eeek! Fortunately I settled on the one in the gay directory. *Pats the Gay Mafia gently on the head*

I'm hoping he's totally hot and buff. And does plumbing in exchange for sex. [Insert joke about plumbing my depths here]